Gossamer Threads

I read somewhere recently about how many of us struggle with goals because of how we approach them.  I know that for me, goals were heavily influenced “should” statements.  They were things that to a large extent were externally driven, things that I thought I needed to do and be because of the way I interacted with my culture. It’s not that I wasn’t taught how to set goals.  Mormons are big on goals overall, and I spent over 6 years from the age of 12-18 specifically setting and working on goals in a church program for young women called “Personal Progress.”  But goals weren’t enough for me to make the kind of progress I really needed. Take for example these goals that I found recently. Based on a few items included on the list, I assume these were set sometime between 1998 and 2000.  I’m also including some information about how I did with those goals. 5 year goals Begin concert career—Didn’t happen.   Full-time job with benefits—Nope Or enou...

So time in the early to mid 90's, I wrote a creed.  Even then, it felt radical, pushing back against how I had been educated in music.  Don't get me wrong. I had had many wonderful teachers who stretched me and gave me tools that I still use today, Many of my experiences were life changing in positive ways.  But those positive experiences existed within a system that could often be more damaging.  When everyone talks about how the program for first year must majors is primarily about getting you to change your major to something else, something is broken. This can't be healthy.  But I took those drops of positive in the sea of despair and let them form what I believed about music education. Every few years, I stumble upon that Creed as I'm looking for something else.  And of course, I never put it in a place where I can easily access it when needed.  It's here somewhere in my house, but I couldn't find it this morning.  And that's OK, because I ...

What does it mean to be there with and for someone who has lost their voice? With relatively few exceptions we are all born with a voice.  We naturally breathe in a way that allows us to make noises, to scream if necessary to make our needs known.  Our hunger, our pain, our need for human contact are known by those closest to us, and sometimes to faraway strangers as well. But as we grow and move through life, walls and barriers are put up, some out of necessity, to protect us.  Shame and fear teach us the shallow breath, and we begin to lose our ability to fully reveal that deepest part of who we are. Sometimes voices are silenced by the other people and systems that fear those voices.  A man's anger is righteous indignation.  A woman's anger is hysteria.  A man raising his voice is powerful.  A woman raising her voice is shrill.  When any voice is raised against an oppressive system with the words, "this hurt me," those in power do everyth...