Christmas Mo(u)rning

Dearest friends, especially those whose Christmas joy is colored by grief,

I'm writing this morning as I wait for the rest of the family to wake up to see what Santa brought.  And I'm missing my Dad.  I know that many of you are also feeling loss this morning.  Some of it is very fresh, and some of you have lived with this for years.

I want you to know that you are held in love this morning.  I want you to know that I see you and I honor however you choose to engage in this day or not.

And I want to share a few messages that I found very true for me.


This from HavenTree.

And we can’t forget you! 
Oh, my friend.
We see you over there, with the tissues in your pocket, trying to get through the next few 
days without drowning in the hole left by the person who isn’t there anymore.  

We see you being brave and broken and missing them. 
It’s okay to mourn instead of celebrate.  
They’re gone, and it hurts, and there is nothing wrong with you. 
You are broken in all the right places, and you are enough. 
And from John Pavlovitz
Grief is here right now to give me the gift of feeling it all again freshly, so that I never forget how beautiful those holidays were, how easy gratitude was, how effortless singing a song of joy could be.And yeah, maybe this is all much more difficult now, and maybe I’ll never have a holiday quite like that again because of the subtraction that’s taken place—but this uninvited, unannounced Grief reminds me that just as my father left a legacy of love with me, so I’m given these days to do the same with those I hold dear.I have this season and these holidays and this moment to be present with those I treasure; to make memories and create traditions and notice beauty—because that is what those we so miss right now did with us while they could, and it’s why we miss them.They shared their now with us, while grieving the then they missed too. They celebrated life while being visited by Grief too. This is what love does. It dances through tears. 

And finally music (because you know everything in my life has a soundtrack).



Let the bells keep on ringing  
Making angels in the snow 
May the melody surround us 
When the cracks begin to show 

Like the petals in our pockets 
May we remember who we are 
Unconditionally cared for 
By those who share our broken hearts.  

May the tears that fall today not be just those of grief, but may they also be tears of laughter as you recall all the wonder and love brought into your life by those who are not with you today.

May you feel the warm embrace of love,
of the people who surround you and support you now,
of those you have lost in this life but who continue to walk with you,
and of the source of Love itself that moves through us all.

In this season when the words like merry, joy, and happy might seem more like shards of glass than peace, I hold fast to these words of Joe Biden.

Family, you are going to miss the man, faithful man as he was, who you knew would literally give his life for you. And for that there's no balm but time. Time and your memories of a life lived well and lived fully.
But I make you a promise. I promise you, the time will come that what's going to happen is six months will go by and everybody is going to think, well, it's passed. But you are going to ride by that field or smell that fragrance or see that flashing image. You are going to feel like you did the day you got the news. But you know you are going to make it. The image of your dad, your husband, your friend. It crosses your mind and a smile comes to your lips before a tear to your eye. That's who you know. I promise you, I give you my word, I promise you, this I know. The day will come. That day will come.

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